04/24/2018
We’re nearing that time of the year. It’s growing closer and closer. In just moments the end of high school education will be upon them. It’s a time when high school graduates feel they are about to “finish.” They have endured thirteen years of public education and they feel they are about to be free; free from the control of parents and teachers: free from the pettiness of classmates; free from restrictions and curfews. This day will bring commencement programs, celebrations with family, and parties with friends and classmates.
Go ahead. Take those moments to soak in these events. You’ve earned it. You have endured thirteen years of being told to sit still, get your homework done, maintain your grades, and follow direction. You have been picked at by others. You’ve had teachers and parents standing over your shoulder watching your every move. You’ve had peers judging you and gossiping about you. You’ve worked to achieve dreams and goals. You have every right to seek to savor this moment, but keep in mind it is just a moment. In a blink, it will be gone and though you may feel you’ve finished, you’ve only just begun.
Today you graduate, tomorrow life really begins. Today, you stand under the umbrella of protection offered by your parents and your teachers. Tomorrow, the sticks and stones of life are coming your way. Today, you have others – parents, teachers, counselors, and pastors – helping you make decisions or even making them for you. Tomorrow, you face those decisions on your own, far from home, and pressured to come to a conclusion in a split second. Today, you go to school for free. Tomorrow, you pay for it or find a way to pay for it. Today, you feel that you’ve endured so much to get here. Tomorrow, you find out that you are never really “finished.”
Life has just begun. No matter what you have experienced up to this point, you have many more experiences coming your way. Look around you. Examine your journey against that of your peers. Some among you have experienced so much already. There are those in your group who have come from homes with limited income. You may have been in a home that has experienced tragedy – the loss of loved ones, the loss of a home, or terrible illness. Some may have grown up in an abusive environment. Others have had to deal with divorce or grown up in a single parent home or a foster home.
I think about the recent victims of the Parkland shooting. It seems that they have seen enough tragedy in their lives to fill a lifetime, but that’s not how life works. There is no limit to the amount of tragedy one may experience. Even after this incredibly horrendous experience, they have other difficulties yet to endure. Some will face disease, such as cancer. Likely, they will experience the loss of a parent, a sibling, a spouse, or a child. Some may face their own divorce or possibly the bankruptcy of their business. They may be comfortable in their work and at the pinnacle of success when suddenly a rock thrown at them by life knocks them down, and they find themselves on their knees.
Beyond the tragedy, life may bring great joy. Some of you will become parents; you’ll see the miracle of the birth of your child and experience the joy of raising your own children. Some of you will be successful in business and as a result, live comfortable lives. There are those graduates who will become teachers and receive the great satisfaction of impacting other young lives. You’ll travel and be amazed at the world in which you live. Perhaps you will finally achieve your dreams and goals.
The point is, as much as you feel you have endured so far, life has much more – both good and bad—to throw your way. You may feel you have finished, but you are just beginning your journey. Up until now, you’ve been surrounded by people with whom you’ve grown up. Maybe you have not been able to pick your teachers and your peers, but going forward you will have the responsibility for those things. You’ll pick the college you attend, which professors you take classes under, and the people with whom you associate. You’ll choose what is important to you and how you live. You will be responsible for the decisions you make and the direction you travel.
Now is a good time to examine your relationships. The rubber is about to hit the road and it is time to be sure you are surrounded by the right people. Maybe you have been counting on the wrong people. Who has been there for you along the way? Now is the time to figure that out. Your future depends upon it. I encourage you, as I have all of my children, to find one good friend to take with you on this journey. You need someone you can count on going forward. “But,” you say, “I’m popular and I’m surrounded by friends.” Popularity doesn’t gain true friends, it gets acquaintances. It gets people who want to be there while things are good, fun, and easy. I don’t care if you are popular or not, you need that one good friend. You need that one person you know will have your back. You need that one person who will stand by you through thick and thin, through tragedy and success, through the good and the bad.
As a Christian, of course I feel I have a true friend in Jesus; one who will be with me through thick and thin. This is important for me and it gives me comfort, but even with this spiritual support, sometimes we need a physical relationship as well. As a husband, I have a great friend in my wife. We vowed to be there for each other through all kinds of situations—for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. But aside from my spiritual support and my marriage partner, if something were to happen to me, who would have my back and take care of my family in my absence? Who outside my immediate family can act as a sounding board to hear my crazy ideas or tell me when I’m off base? Who will listen when I need to vent about work, or the world, or my spouse, or my kids? Who is there to share in my family’s success or tragedies? In my case, I’ve had a great friendship since grade school. I have a friend I know will have my back and will be there if I or my family need him. I have a friend whom I have things in common and who shares many of my hobbies and interests.
I encourage you to find that one true friend, whether it is someone you know now – someone you have grown up with, or whether it is someone you will meet in the future – a college roommate, an acquaintance, or a close co-worker. Find someone with whom you can relate and upon whom you can depend.
And once you have that one true friend, BE that one true friend. Be the kind of person someone can count on. Be the one that makes someone feel you have their back. Be the person who is there when your friend needs you. Be there when they face tragedy and loss; when they are struck with illness; when they are at the end of their rope. Stand by them when they hold strong to their principles and when others attack them. Let them vent. Share in their pain. Don’t be the fair weather friend – the one that is only there when things are fun, or easy. We all have plenty of those, but that one true friend is special and only comes along once in a lifetime.A true friend stands up for you and they stand the test of time.
You are at the edge. You stand where childhood ends and adulthood begins. You are finishing and you are beginning. You are preparing for the journey that is life. Celebrate your accomplishments! Experience joy at your new freedom! Savor the moment! But remember it is just a moment. Life awaits you! Make sound decisions. Develop your principles. Stand your ground. Be prepared for what is to come, and have someone special with whom you can share the journey.