Sloppy, greasy, meaty, messy

You know what I miss? I miss hometown, community gathering, short-order cooking, vinyl booth seat sliding, cafes. I miss greasy, burgers and fresh cut fries. I’m talking burgers so sloppy they almost slide off the bun. And the buns – buttered buns grilled on the flattop. All served with a plate of lettuce, pickles, onions, and tomato’s accompanied by three squeeze bottles of toppings. Yeah, I know there are some places around that serve decent hamburgers, and I tip my hat to attempt, but that’s not all I miss. I miss menus in plastic sleeves that catered to everything from bacon, eggs, and hash-browns to hot roast beef on sliced bread smothered in brown gravy with mashed potatoes, liver and onions (at least it smelled good) and chicken fried steak with a choice of potato and white or brown gravy. I miss that “Can I have gravy on my fries, too” ordering.

I miss the ladies who ran the places, and the ones that cooked on the flattop; ladies so serious about their craft they swore to take their recipes to their graves, like my wife’s Aunt Max. I miss the coffee drinkers table I’ve spoken of in the past, and the waitresses who’d keep the white cups filled with coffee and the customers in line — giving it right back to the oilfield worker who was giving her a hard time. I miss the polyester uniforms the waitress wore, with the pocket up front for the ticket book she kept nearby, and listening to her complain about the guy at table two who stole her pen. The sound of the mechanical cash register as she punched the keys and it figured the ticket, and the ding when the cash drawer opened was the music of small town commerce.

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“I’ll Get It.”

I have every intention of trying to keep this blog “apolitical.” This is a book author’s blog, not a politician’s. My focus is on books, words, stories, and how those things affect our lives. However, in this time in which we live, our conversations can easily reach into that arena with little to no effort. A casual statement can take you out faster than a line-drive over the pitcher’s mound. I also can’t dismiss the fact that I have my own views and core beliefs which shape my perspective, as do we all. Some of those beliefs came from the community in which I grew up.

The first years of my life were spent along the coast and in the hills of Kentucky at my grandparents’ house. As a Navy kid, we moved several times and I had new schools, new friends, and new neighborhoods with which to become accustomed. When my dad retired, we settled down in a small Oklahoma town. I spent the better part of my life in that little town, met my wife, and raised my kids. As far as I’m concerned, I’m small town and most of my memories are small town as well.

You know that place in your mind where you store those warm memories you call upon from time to time? I have one too. It is a place where those thoughts, reminders, and memories are kept safe and close, but not cramped. Perhaps you imagine that spot in your mind to be as comfortable as a cottage in the woods, as I’ve heard one friend describe it. A place where a warm fire burns above a hearth of stone, along with a pot of stew — seasoned liberally with heavenly herbs and spices, the fragrance soothingly wafting through the air. Cozy slippers and quilts await to fight off the cold fingers of life.

Maybe those thoughts are your hammock between two palms which wave in the breeze at the edge of a sandy beach, or maybe they are your mountain meadow with a cool rushing spring meandering through it. Perhaps they are very simply just what they are, warm memories. The point is, we hold on to those thoughts that give us comfort in troubled times or cause us to smile when they drift in between the cracks of reality. For me, there’s a lot of “small town” in those memories. I can call upon those memories which helped to shape my life, which give me courage to face the difficulties, and which ask me to pass on what I’ve experienced. They make their way into my writing and into my outlook.

As a young boy I was privileged to have a paper route. Though at the time it may have caused me to be just a bit of a target for harassment among a few peers, I’m proud of that. I’m happy my parents let me learn to work at a young age. Although I did use my bike from time to time to deliver papers (usually in the summer), most of the time my dad helped me by providing transportation and a toss out the driver’s side window which would make a southpaw swell with envy. Later on when I quit delivering papers, he kept it up. I guess he figured he was up early anyway.

The day began early, usually around five in the morning. We picked up our paper bundles, rolled and banded them, and delivered them before school. As long as the route truck was on time, we often ended by going up to the local cafe before I had to get home and ready for school.

One of those strong memories upon which I reflect was built by men who had no idea what they were building or that they were building anything at all. They did what men do, what their fathers taught them, and perhaps their grandfathers before. They treated each other with civility, respect, and a sense of community. A few of those men are still around, but their numbers have dwindled as life took its toll.

I’m talking really great men. No, not senators or famous people… not great because they made history… not men who shaped the world, but men who shaped my world. They were men you wanted to know. Men who had interesting stories, humor, integrity, faith, bumps, scars, flaws, faults, and fractures. They weren’t perfect, they were human, and they saw community as a way of life. Perhaps in today’s world they wouldn’t be valued at all. Someone would hone in on one of those faults, flaws, or scars and magnify it until it became the only thing anyone could see. But to me they were examples of people who might be a little rough around the edges and hiding a diamond in the center.

As I look back, I realize I how important it was to me and my education as a youth to spend those mornings at the cafe with my father and men like him. It was valuable to hear their conversations, see their actions, and watch the interaction between them. They instilled in me, without effort, the idea that it is okay to disagree, that you don’t have to sacrifice your principles to treat someone with respect, and that people of opposing views can still get along if they choose to get along.

The coffee-drinkers’ table was really about four or five tables butted together. It was placed close to the server’s station which made it easier to refill those cups. If the tables filled, another table was added or another row was started a few feet away. Of course, back then smoking was allowed, but usually the smokers sat at one end of the table, sharing an ashtray. Most of the men at the table were just drinking coffee, but some were filling up on a full breakfast order or a cinnamon roll before heading off to work.

There were caps of varying colors which had been provided by the booster club, the bank, tractor dealers, seed dealers, feed yards, and oilfield companies. Cowboy hats and the occasional stocking cap made their way into the mix. It was a time when some of those hats would still be taken off when they entered the building and hung on the hat-tree by the door or off the corner of a chair back, others remained firmly planted upon their owners heads adding a bit of color to a plaid, or denim background.

Flannel shirts, pearl snap western shirts, t-shirts, blue jeans and Dickies were the dress of choice. Cowboy boots, muck boots, steel-toed Red Wings, and rough looking wingtips could be found under those tables. Callouses, liver spots, grease stains, chapped skin, and arthritic joints shaped and decorated the hands which lifted those stoneware coffee cups. In many ways they reminded me of the friends and family, mostly coal miners, my grandfather sat around with in Kentucky.

While I drank a cup of coffee (which was heavily laced with cream and sugar back then), occasionally tea or a Coke, I listened to their conversations. Sometimes, I was invisible as the conversations took on more colorful verbiage, tone, and subject matter with the flow of the discussion; other times their words were probably tempered for my ears. There might be another kid or two there among them, especially during the summer. Later on I would frequently be joined by my brother, and though I’m sure others experience the same, I can remember many times when I was the only junior coffee drinker.

Those men argued about farming ideas, talked about the good and bad of the oilfield, and disagreed bitterly over politics. They discussed the fair price of wheat and the impact of trade embargoes. They traded jabs and played tricks. They described the quality of the cattle that ran through the last auction at the sale barn. They ribbed each other over who shot the bigger buck, the largest pheasant, or caught the biggest fish, and told stories about the ones that got away. To be sure there was ample amount of gossip and many a bawdy tale which sailed over my head. Some of those conversations could be filled with heated emotion, and sometimes those heated conversations carried over from one day to the next. They weren’t pushovers; when they had an opinion, they held to it like an old hound with a bone.

Yet, unlike the vicious attacks we see on Facebook and Twitter today — words meant not to voice disagreement, but to destroy their adversaries — these men never seemed to let their disagreements disintegrate into hate. They didn’t allow their discord to create walls or let those differences ride upon their shoulders. I’m sure beyond my young eyes there were ruffled feathers, but they weren’t pranced around like a peacock on display. Maybe someone left that building bent out of shape, but they still came back the next day and sat down with the same men at the same table. I’m sure there were feuds and bruised egos, but the community went on. The coffee table never emptied, or was boycotted, or struggled to attract members. They still seemed to treat each other with respect. They still came together when someone was in need, and they still reached into their pockets to pay for another man’s coffee or even a meal.

When it came time to pay up, it seemed like someone always spoke up with an, “I’ll get it.” They paid for each other’s coffee or even breakfast. They didn’t keep track of who owed who. I never saw them sit at the table and divvy up the ticket. They simply handed the waitress some money and paid for the whole table. Sometimes two or three of them would just place some bills in a pile to cover the group. There were always tips left by the empty cups; tips which were often considerably larger than the sixty cent cost of the coffee. Paying for a whole table probably never averaged more than fifteen or twenty dollars, but it was the thought that counts. The acts of courtesy, respect, and generosity.

Baptist, Methodist, Church of Christ, Christian church members, and non-believers debated the Bible, the government, the Ag prices, and whether the lousy referee at the high school basketball game should have been given a complimentary optometrist appointment or run out of town on a rail. Even after a Republican versus Democrat full assault battle, they laughed, shook hands, and slapped shoulders as they left the building. From there they went their different ways, to their different occupations, in their different cars and trucks. They waved as they passed each other on the road. And the next day, they did it all over again.

If your dad or grandfather, or uncle was at that table or another table in another little cafe, I salute you. You know the kind of people I’m talking about. You know that they knew how to make a community and take care of a neighbor. You know “small town” and you probably have some of that in you as well. It’s time we passed it on.

The Death OF Tomorrow

10/16/2014

I remember growing up in this lazy, sleepy little town.  Even back then I considered it a treasure.  It was a place of discovery and adventure; old buildings with histories and secrets, treasures of time buried beneath the blow dirt and sand, things which pulled at a young boy’s curiosity and caused him to find stories within their existence. Too young to understand how the things of the world work, I hoped it would live forever.  I dreamed of helping it, breathing new life into its tired old bones.

I was forever scheming of ways to keep its heart pumping.  From town celebrations which would make it famous to businesses which would reignite the boom from which it was born, there were always ideas roaming around inside my mind.  Perhaps I would write a grand adventure with the little town as its epicenter and people would come from far and wide to see this place which had spawned the tale.

As kids we rode our bikes over dirt roads and crumbling blacktop.  We hunted the prehistoric looking horny toads and picked the sand burrs from our shoelaces.  We walked the forgotten trail of the railroad which had once been so important to the broom straw harvest which had given life to this place on the prairie.  Somewhere I still have a collection of numbered nails from railroad ties which had been abandoned and left to rot in their places in their beds which had grown over with grass and weeds.

From the Commercial Hotel which seemed to tower over the main street of the town to the depot which had once died with the loss of the railroad only to be reborn as a popular restaurant, there seemed to be no end to the places to explore.  The old theater which showed second run movies and became a place of excitement for kids of all ages on Saturday night had its own creaky secrets.  The water tower with its pointy top and spindly legs was a place of dares and challenges.

I can remember dropping coins in the pop machine at the old APCO station at the top of the hill on a hot summer day.  I remember the sounds as I pulled a glass bottle from its slim rectangular door, the ker-ching as the machine refilled the spot which had been emptied, the hiss of the pop cap when it was placed against the opener, the tinny echo as the cap fell into the reservoir beneath, and that first pull on a bottle of ice cold Coca-Cola.  I remember the ding-ding of the bell when a car pulled up and the sounds of the old gas pumps when the attendant flipped the handle to pump gas.  I remember the feel of the wet chamois towel which was used to clean the windows when a full service station still existed.

Taking a seat in the old café booths, feeling the cool vinyl and feasting on a plate of fresh cut fries is just one of many memories of a time long lost.  We used to gather there before football games and when I was in high school I’d have a cheeseburger steak there before every game.  There were tables grouped at the front in a long string and the men of the community would gather there each morning to drink coffee and talk about the weather and the crops.  I can recall sitting there with my dad, drinking coffee like all of the other men at the table.  Once in a while we’d have a cinnamon roll with our coffee or on special occasions a full breakfast of eggs, hash browns, bacon, and toast.  I miss those days of breakfast with my dad and my younger brother.

When we rode our bikes down to the Jack and Jill grocery store, we always leaned them up against the brick wall.  There were comic books and magazines in a rack near the large window out front.  There was a bar at the back with stools which had spinning seats.  I bought chewing tobacco by claiming it was for my dad, something which would probably never work today.  Then I proceeded to get sick when I stuck a plug of it in my mouth.

Next door at the Triple A, there were wooden booths and a large wooden bar.  The soda jerks stood above the bar and they mixed the sodas the old fashioned way.  You could get extra syrup if you asked or even vanilla or cherry mixed in.  Above there were large black ceiling fans which hung down on rods and they swayed side to side as the fans moved in their lazy circles.  The wooden floor creaked as you walked across it and the bell on the old wood and glass-pane door rang when someone pushed it open.  When I was in grade school, I liked to sit with the high school girls while they did their homework at the wooden booths drinking a Coke and eating a bag of potato chips.

On the other side of the grocery store was the post office.  There were doors on the boxes in the wall with little brass wheels on the boxes which served as the spinners for the combination locks.  The post office always seemed to have an echo to the room.  A counter stood along one wall where the patrons could seal their envelopes, paste their stamps, or read their mail.  Next to the counter was a tall trash can, usually filled with junk mail and flyers as people dumped off the things they didn’t want to take home.

Saddled against the post office was the hardware store.  Nearly any time you walked by you could smell the scent of pine from the building where they cut the wood.  Behind the counter were boxes filled with things like screws and nails.  Darlene was friendly and welcoming.  She always seemed to know just what you were trying to find.  Tools hung from the rafters and the wooden floor had a deeper sound than the Triple A when it creaked.  Through the large glass windows out front you could see items which had been placed on display.  On the east side was a loading dock and wooden screen doors which wacked against their frames when someone stepped out.   The side of the hardware building was corrugated galvanized tin.  Faded black lettering announced it once served as home to the undertaker as well.

These are the memories of this little town as I remember them.  Time and its effects may have distorted some of the details.  All of those buildings downtown are gone now and I only hold them in my recollections.  Their façade fronts, wooden walls and floors served as fuel when a fire took them one after another.  It dealt a great blow to the community to lose all of them at one time.  Volunteer firemen worked all night and fire fighters from Beaver City and Liberal, Kansas came to help, but all they could do was to keep it from spreading or jumping across the highway to the bank.

Across the street was the First State Bank, its name proudly displayed on the glass window with gold-leaf lettering.  They gave out little boxes of Chiclets with the bank’s logo on them.  There were two pieces of gum in every box.  During football games the cheerleaders tossed red footballs with their logo printed on the sides.  The First State Bank was important to the community and when it went away, it seemed suck away more life than any other business.  The gold letters of the bank still live on; the  glass window displayed in the Golden Agers building, along with other reminders of the past.

Up the road, the center of town is dominated by the school.  It was a great school.  We played football, dodge-ball, and baseball on the playground and flirted with the girls on the merry-go-round.  On the monkey bars we found out who the real men where based on who could dangle the longest or cross from pipe to pipe from one end to the other.  The slide was tall and under today’s protective conditions would probably require a safety strap.  More than a few arms were broken upon that playground, but we were none the worse for wear and the casts were proudly worn and signed.

I remember fall carnivals in the old gym.  Each class had a booth.  There were spinning wheels, balloons and darts, hoop shoots, apple bobs, and cake walks.  The gym was strung with streamers and lights.  The seniors always seemed to have the best booths.  The fall carnival drew out the entire community.

Buried in my memory are stolen kisses in the back of the theater, afternoons spent traveling dirt roads, Friday night football games, and summers at the pool in Beaver.  Riding bikes on Saturday mornings(with no helmets or knee pads), trudging through snow drifts during winter(until our toes were numb), and watching lightning strikes illuminate that old water tank during spring thunderstorms which brought torrential rains, all culminate into a collage of images and moments of wonder.

I’d wanted my kids to experience my childhood, but even in sleepy little towns time brings change.  The place of my youth does not exist and with it left the opportunity for them to know what it was like to live in this community with all of its little facets of life.  The school remains and plays an important role in their lives, but those fragments of an active community which fit together to form the pages of my memory are no longer there.

Of course, memory is illusive and only those things which matter most to us seem to surface, leaving the things we choose to disregard behind.  Sometimes I fail to remember the times when small town life wasn’t so wonderful.  I forget about what it was like being on the outside of a certain clique or feeling as if I were an outcast.  The rapidity of gossip and the sting of peer pressure seem to be forgotten under the passage of sand into the hourglass.  Still there are enough good memories to cover those which are better left alone.

But like the men and women who built this town and the dreams which drove them, this town cannot live forever.  Its viability in a modern world comes into question.  The veins and capillaries which fed it have begun to shrivel and dry.  The wooden walls of buildings at its heart have become ashes, scattered, buried, or washed away.  The youth and vitality which comes from commerce and enterprise have slipped from its grasp.

Though it may go on as a community, churches and individuals holding tight to its strongest characteristics, it cannot grow and thrive without the energy and lifeblood of business.  If the course of time continues on its current path, there will come a time when the school will close and students will wear different mascots on their t-shirts or uniforms.  Indeed, the latter has already begun to happen.  Through co-ops our students have continued to participate in sports where we had numbers too small to go it on our own.

As the world grows, as education becomes more and more important, as opportunities arise, the relevance of a small school becomes more of a question.  What purpose does it serve?  What opportunities can it offer?  As states struggle for funding and the economy struggles, financial considerations will cause calls for further consolidations and what’s left of school pride appears doomed to go the way of the dinosaur.

It’s a troubling thought.  For those who have chosen to make their homes in small towns like ours, it is great disappointment to see its fate hanging in the balance.  Still, I hold on to hope that a reprieve from extinction might be found within new industry or a change in the use of resources.  Alternative agriculture, green energy, bio fuels, gas and oil are the most promising industries which might offer economic sustainability to our community and those in surrounding areas.

Though our children offer us moments of pride and community – state basketball championships, a run for the state football championship, academic achievements, school choral programs, and laughter – we are but a fraction of what we once were.  Though the ghosts of the past remind us of where we’ve been and what we’ve done, their spirits float beyond our reach.  As the clock ticks on and time marches past, we long for the days when tomorrow was a promise and hope was a vision.

There is one thing which holds our dreams, memories, hopes, and spirits together – community.  Community serves as a glue holding fragments of the past.  It serves as the fabric into which our tapestry has been woven.  Community pulls us together when disaster, uncertainty, and the future threaten to pull us apart.  Community allows us to push past the looming shadows of extinction.  Community gives us occasion to come together and embrace that which is important to us all.  Perhaps, this community will be the key to unlocking the potential for revival.  In joining together, conceivably we may find that one unique trait which allows us to prosper and draw others into our midst once again; revitalizing us, increasing our numbers and helping us grow back into the lively little town we once were.

Though the future is uncertain, the death of tomorrow depends upon us and our community.  If we search – if we invest – if we trust in ourselves, we can give life back to tomorrow.  We can hold on to this spot which we occupy and give it life once again.  Others have faced larger obstacles – World War l, the market crash of 1929, the great depression, the dirty 30’s, World War ll, and other conflicts.  They overcame these things which separated them from their dreams and hopes.  They pulled together and made it through.  They held on to hope in the face of doom.

We may not control the future, but we can impact it.  We can hold tight to the wheel and steer our way into tomorrow.  A brighter tomorrow does not just happen.  Complacency, indifference, and lack of engagement, only allows decay to take its course.  If we seek to be revitalized, we have to pursue those things which will revitalize us.  If we want tomorrow to be bright, we must add our own light to the effort.  Little things matter.  The smallest spark can start a fire.

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