That Amarillo Sky

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You know, I’m not a real emotional guy. But when I hear that Jason Aldean song, and I actually listen to the words, it kind of chokes me up.

He gets up before the dawn
Packs a lunch and a thermos full of coffee
It’s another day in the dusty haze
Those burnin’ rays are wearing down his body

That song carries so much emotion with it. Though it’s about a farmer, it reminds me of my dad. A man who worked his entire life. From a youth on the farm, to twenty years in the US Navy, thru multiple jobs after his retirement, to a water well business, and as the city superintendent until he died at the age of seventy-eight, he worked. He worked because that’s what he had to do. He worked for his family, to pay his bills, to have a home, to make a life, to be part of a community.

And diesel’s worth the price of gold
It’s the cheapest grain he’s ever sold
But he’s still holding on

That song reminds me of the folks I’ve grown up around, too. The true farmer who works from dawn to dusk and sometimes into the night when the land and the crops and the cattle demand it. The man or woman who carries such a heavy sense of responsibility and commitment that they just don’t know if they can squeeze out a few days for themselves – to get away, to relax, and to live a life without work.

He just takes the tractor another round
And pulls the plow across the ground
And sends up another prayer

It reminds me of people who put all they have into their dreams. They have staked everything. It’s all on the line. Not just for a moment, but every day. They wake up and go at it again, with worry in the back of their minds, knowing that one little thing can blow it all up.

He says, “Lord, I never complain, I never ask why
But please don’t let my dream to run dry
Underneath, underneath this Amarillo sky”

It’s a reminder of folks who have weathered the storm. The old men and women who I watched and respected. People who taught me so many lessons, not by lectures, but by the way they lived their lives. My cup was filled listening to their stories of adventures, misfortunes, and livelihoods over coffee, a glass of tea, or a beer; on porches, at the cafe, or leaning against an old grain truck. From the coal miners in Kentucky to the farmers in Oklahoma, they played a role in shaping who I am, what I think, and how I act. Just thinking about them – remembering their faces; remembering their knowing, ornery, wise, weathered, and wrinkled images – makes me smile. They live on in the memories they left with me.

That hailstorm back in ’83
Sure did take a toll on his family
But he stayed strong and carried on
Just like his dad and granddad did before him

It reminds me of people of faith. Of voices lifting a cappella to sing hymns in an old building on Pond Creek, that runs into the Tug Fork, along the line between Kentucky and West Virginia. It reminds me of revivals and singspirations in a small town church in the Panhandle. It reminds me that people dig deep and move forward, living in the faith that they will find a way, and that God will provide.

On his knees, every night he prays
“Please let my crops and children grow”
‘Cause that’s all he’s ever known

Yeah, there’s a lot in that song. And if I stop to listen, I can’t help but feel it.

He just takes the tractor another round
And pulls the plow across the ground
And sends up another prayer

He says, “Lord, I never complain, I never ask why
But please don’t let my dream run dry
Underneath, underneath this Amarillo sky”

And he takes the tractor another round
Another round, another round
And he takes the tractor another round
Another round

He says, “I never complain, I never ask why
But please don’t let my dreams run dry
Underneath, underneath this Amarillo sky”

Underneath this Amarillo sky

Life Is A Box Of Chocolates

05/2013

“Life is like a box of chocolates, Forrest.  You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Mrs. Gump, Forrest Gump

I wouldn’t even need to give credit, and you would know where that came from. We all know the quote.  If you’re like me you’ve probably watched Forrest Gump a thousand times.  In truth there are several quotes which ring with wisdom inside the simple mind of Forrest Gump.  However, I believe his momma’s quote is about as spot on as they come.

Life is a blend of bittersweet.  I recently watched my second oldest son graduate.  As I looked out on those kids, there were so many who had endured or been touched by hardship and tragedy in their young lives.  There they were standing upon the threshold of adulthood, when life traditionally starts throwing things at you, and many had already experienced what one might consider as their share.  But on that day they were filled with smiles, childhood memories, and dreams.

Life is a blend of bittersweet; an experience of triumph and tragedy mixed together creating its own unique taste.  A selection of morsels from which we all partake, it’s made up of varied ingredients; a splash of tear drop, a dash of longing, sprinkles of happiness, and a dusting of pure sweet memories sifted into this bowl of existence; kneaded by the fingers of time; rolled out beneath the weight of loss; stamped into the shapes of broken hearts and angel wings.  The taste is without compare; deeper than the loss of innocence, more enticing than the pull of melancholy, as sweet as the aroma of love.

Whether heartache or happiness, emotion plays an important role in this journey.  This is why I write what I write.  I find value in the emotion of words, in the ability of an author to flick that switch with just a phrase, a context, or even a well-timed word.  The right word can trigger a feeling or a memory; memories which serve as the doorway to reconnect with those moments of happiness, contentment, and love.

Life is a blend of bittersweet; we find ourselves celebrating the good times and struggling over the bad times.  We try to make sense of it and understand the reasons things go the way they go.  In the midst of tragedy, silver-linings are hidden in the misty fog of sorrow and heartache.  When life is going our way it can seem like rainbows and candy sprinkles, but when life throws a curve and the clouds roll in, the color seems to disappear.  We find the air sucked from our lungs and the world closing in around us, sending us to seek comfort in faith, prayer, and in others.

Most of our lives, most of the time spent on this earth, falls somewhere between the teardrops and the laughter.  But just as the majesty of the mountains, the enormity of the canyons, and the might of the oceans cause the bland road-travel to disappear among our vacation recollections, so the hills and valleys of life seem to become the highlights of our existence; the granite core to our nostalgias.

I read a story once in an Ann Landers column; it was called The Station by Robert J. Hastings.  In fact, I’ve kept a copy around for a long time to reference from time to time.  It speaks of life and happiness as a journey and not as a destination.  It serves as a reminder that the little day to day interactions are just as important as those monumental moments.  I’ve seen this in the example of my children.  When we get lost in reminiscence, I’m often amazed at the little things which mean so much to them; things which had slid by me almost without notice had become part of their favorite memories.

Life is a blend of bittersweet.  It is a box of chocolates.  We take the good with the bad.  We never know what we will get.  But we have the opportunity to fill in the middle with our own pieces of nuts, filling, or fruit which can add flare or flavor in any way we desire.  We can claim our own successes and recognize those things which we choose to make important.  We can allow the gentle rub of soul against soul to leave our touch upon others and leave our mark behind.  We can take the time to consider what others have left behind for us.  How have they touched us? How did their presence make us just slightly different than the person we may have been without them?

Life is a blend of bittersweet.  Taste it for what it is.  Discover that which moves you and treasure the flavors you savor.  Taste that sweetness and allow the bitter aftertaste to remind you how fleeting that taste can be; fleeting enough to be worthy of our recognition and our wonderment.

Time Is A Commodity

2012

I’ve had this thought on my mind for a while now.  Recent events have tweaked and twisted it, but still it remains. Time is a commodity.  It is something of value.  It is something with which we barter.  It is something we trade, sell, or donate.  In looking back at my first blog of the year, I find this is a bit of a continuation of that theme.

You know, all books and all authors have some theme or meaning lying underneath the surface of the words.  Themes can deal with nearly anything – internal conflicts, external conflicts, personal value, search for happiness/contentment, etc.  You follow me on this I’m sure.  In my book, Loving Deacon, the theme focuses on personal value.  Deacon has found happiness in his wife and his family, but what he is missing is his personal satisfaction with who he is and the purpose his life has served.  In Whispers in the Wind, Abby thinks she has found happiness by following her dreams, only to find true happiness somewhere else.  The Ladder Climber is yet to be published, but its theme deals with finding the right balance to life and work.  The Blemished Rose, which also has not yet been published, deals with misplaced guilt.

One underlying theme in each of these novels is time.  In every instance, time plays a major role because life is much about time and how we use it.  Time is a commodity.  We trade time to our employer for pay.  We put in a certain amount of time on the job and they give us a certain amount of money for that time.  Of course, when it comes to how much money we are able to get for that time other factors come into play, such as technical skills, experience, and the difficulty of the task.  This particular blog article isn’t about discussing the fairness of the trade, a discussion which could go on and on, but rather the fact that time is something which is limited and valuable.

Although much of our time is necessarily devoted to work or earning a living, we chose how we use our time.  We try to portion our time so we can keep at least some of it for ourselves and our families.  Some people save enough time to golf, fish, read, watch movies, or whatever makes them happy.  Parents save time to go watch their kids play sports or attend a Christmas concert.  Families look forward to taking time for vacations.  People donate time to charities.

Perhaps if we knew just how much time we had, we would prioritize it better, but the truth is we don’t.  When we are young life seems almost endless and we find ourselves believing we have plenty of time.  We take more risks, we live carefree, and time appears to be on our side.  And yet, plenty of young people never see their eighteenth birthday; they just didn’t have much time.  As we grow older and people pass from among us, the limits of our time start to become more real.

Based upon my core beliefs, I believe there is a purpose to the amount of time we are given; a purpose for life and a certain amount of time in which to accomplish it.  Deacon says we are like dominoes and each of us impacts the other.  Therefore, my purpose could lead you to your purpose or vice versa.  The ripples of your life may flow into mine.  Even a life which seems cut short may have been just long enough to help shape another life or provide the catalyst necessary for another to find their purpose.  These are my thoughts and you’re welcome to your own, of course.

I must admit, much of mine is wasted on things with little importance.  So much time is spent worrying about things which really don’t matter in the grand scheme of life.  These things become a distraction, sucking away time which could be better served if focused upon things of value.  Such squandering of time is much akin to the accumulation of things; things which will waste and wither away; things which simply aren’t needed in order to live happy and comfortably.

What about you?  What’s your purpose?  Are you to do something which catches worldwide attention changing the course of history?  Maybe you’re doing something just as important by changing someone else’s history; nurturing children who will shape the world in which they live.  Perhaps your life was meant to rub up against someone else who has a completely different purpose.  Will you look back on your time and find it was used wisely or squandered on a pot full of irrelevance?  We probably all have things in our lives which are well worth the time as well as things which aren’t worth a minute and though I don’t think it is healthy to question ourselves on every second of our time, I do think it is healthy to realize that life is largely about how we spend our time.

Make the most of it my friends.  Hug those grand-kids.  Kiss your own kids.  Stop and smell the roses.  Take the time to offer roses.  Write a book.  Read a book.  Plant a tree.  Give some blood.  Visit with someone.  Spend some time alone.  Just use it for what is important to you and to those you care about.

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