That Amarillo Sky

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You know, I’m not a real emotional guy. But when I hear that Jason Aldean song, and I actually listen to the words, it kind of chokes me up.

He gets up before the dawn
Packs a lunch and a thermos full of coffee
It’s another day in the dusty haze
Those burnin’ rays are wearing down his body

That song carries so much emotion with it. Though it’s about a farmer, it reminds me of my dad. A man who worked his entire life. From a youth on the farm, to twenty years in the US Navy, thru multiple jobs after his retirement, to a water well business, and as the city superintendent until he died at the age of seventy-eight, he worked. He worked because that’s what he had to do. He worked for his family, to pay his bills, to have a home, to make a life, to be part of a community.

And diesel’s worth the price of gold
It’s the cheapest grain he’s ever sold
But he’s still holding on

That song reminds me of the folks I’ve grown up around, too. The true farmer who works from dawn to dusk and sometimes into the night when the land and the crops and the cattle demand it. The man or woman who carries such a heavy sense of responsibility and commitment that they just don’t know if they can squeeze out a few days for themselves – to get away, to relax, and to live a life without work.

He just takes the tractor another round
And pulls the plow across the ground
And sends up another prayer

It reminds me of people who put all they have into their dreams. They have staked everything. It’s all on the line. Not just for a moment, but every day. They wake up and go at it again, with worry in the back of their minds, knowing that one little thing can blow it all up.

He says, “Lord, I never complain, I never ask why
But please don’t let my dream to run dry
Underneath, underneath this Amarillo sky”

It’s a reminder of folks who have weathered the storm. The old men and women who I watched and respected. People who taught me so many lessons, not by lectures, but by the way they lived their lives. My cup was filled listening to their stories of adventures, misfortunes, and livelihoods over coffee, a glass of tea, or a beer; on porches, at the cafe, or leaning against an old grain truck. From the coal miners in Kentucky to the farmers in Oklahoma, they played a role in shaping who I am, what I think, and how I act. Just thinking about them – remembering their faces; remembering their knowing, ornery, wise, weathered, and wrinkled images – makes me smile. They live on in the memories they left with me.

That hailstorm back in ’83
Sure did take a toll on his family
But he stayed strong and carried on
Just like his dad and granddad did before him

It reminds me of people of faith. Of voices lifting a cappella to sing hymns in an old building on Pond Creek, that runs into the Tug Fork, along the line between Kentucky and West Virginia. It reminds me of revivals and singspirations in a small town church in the Panhandle. It reminds me that people dig deep and move forward, living in the faith that they will find a way, and that God will provide.

On his knees, every night he prays
“Please let my crops and children grow”
‘Cause that’s all he’s ever known

Yeah, there’s a lot in that song. And if I stop to listen, I can’t help but feel it.

He just takes the tractor another round
And pulls the plow across the ground
And sends up another prayer

He says, “Lord, I never complain, I never ask why
But please don’t let my dream run dry
Underneath, underneath this Amarillo sky”

And he takes the tractor another round
Another round, another round
And he takes the tractor another round
Another round

He says, “I never complain, I never ask why
But please don’t let my dreams run dry
Underneath, underneath this Amarillo sky”

Underneath this Amarillo sky

Life Is A Box Of Chocolates

05/2013

“Life is like a box of chocolates, Forrest.  You never know what you’re gonna get.” — Mrs. Gump, Forrest Gump

I wouldn’t even need to give credit, and you would know where that came from. We all know the quote.  If you’re like me you’ve probably watched Forrest Gump a thousand times.  In truth there are several quotes which ring with wisdom inside the simple mind of Forrest Gump.  However, I believe his momma’s quote is about as spot on as they come.

Life is a blend of bittersweet.  I recently watched my second oldest son graduate.  As I looked out on those kids, there were so many who had endured or been touched by hardship and tragedy in their young lives.  There they were standing upon the threshold of adulthood, when life traditionally starts throwing things at you, and many had already experienced what one might consider as their share.  But on that day they were filled with smiles, childhood memories, and dreams.

Life is a blend of bittersweet; an experience of triumph and tragedy mixed together creating its own unique taste.  A selection of morsels from which we all partake, it’s made up of varied ingredients; a splash of tear drop, a dash of longing, sprinkles of happiness, and a dusting of pure sweet memories sifted into this bowl of existence; kneaded by the fingers of time; rolled out beneath the weight of loss; stamped into the shapes of broken hearts and angel wings.  The taste is without compare; deeper than the loss of innocence, more enticing than the pull of melancholy, as sweet as the aroma of love.

Whether heartache or happiness, emotion plays an important role in this journey.  This is why I write what I write.  I find value in the emotion of words, in the ability of an author to flick that switch with just a phrase, a context, or even a well-timed word.  The right word can trigger a feeling or a memory; memories which serve as the doorway to reconnect with those moments of happiness, contentment, and love.

Life is a blend of bittersweet; we find ourselves celebrating the good times and struggling over the bad times.  We try to make sense of it and understand the reasons things go the way they go.  In the midst of tragedy, silver-linings are hidden in the misty fog of sorrow and heartache.  When life is going our way it can seem like rainbows and candy sprinkles, but when life throws a curve and the clouds roll in, the color seems to disappear.  We find the air sucked from our lungs and the world closing in around us, sending us to seek comfort in faith, prayer, and in others.

Most of our lives, most of the time spent on this earth, falls somewhere between the teardrops and the laughter.  But just as the majesty of the mountains, the enormity of the canyons, and the might of the oceans cause the bland road-travel to disappear among our vacation recollections, so the hills and valleys of life seem to become the highlights of our existence; the granite core to our nostalgias.

I read a story once in an Ann Landers column; it was called The Station by Robert J. Hastings.  In fact, I’ve kept a copy around for a long time to reference from time to time.  It speaks of life and happiness as a journey and not as a destination.  It serves as a reminder that the little day to day interactions are just as important as those monumental moments.  I’ve seen this in the example of my children.  When we get lost in reminiscence, I’m often amazed at the little things which mean so much to them; things which had slid by me almost without notice had become part of their favorite memories.

Life is a blend of bittersweet.  It is a box of chocolates.  We take the good with the bad.  We never know what we will get.  But we have the opportunity to fill in the middle with our own pieces of nuts, filling, or fruit which can add flare or flavor in any way we desire.  We can claim our own successes and recognize those things which we choose to make important.  We can allow the gentle rub of soul against soul to leave our touch upon others and leave our mark behind.  We can take the time to consider what others have left behind for us.  How have they touched us? How did their presence make us just slightly different than the person we may have been without them?

Life is a blend of bittersweet.  Taste it for what it is.  Discover that which moves you and treasure the flavors you savor.  Taste that sweetness and allow the bitter aftertaste to remind you how fleeting that taste can be; fleeting enough to be worthy of our recognition and our wonderment.

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